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I went around adding people... hah hah i WANT some FRIENDSZZZAAA!!
I realize.. i need to post more often.. yeah..SO WILL DOO! maybe ill post something later today
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 3:24 pm. |
| Mood: |  infuriated. | | Music: | I hate everything about you - Three Days Grace. |
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I hate you all..
no exceptions
damnit I wanna break something
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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WHOA! i haven't written for almost a MONTH! whew...
Humm.. yeah.. i have nothin to say.. maybe i'll write something here this WEEKEnd... yeah...
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
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| Time: | 4:49 pm. |
| Mood: |  numb. | | Music: | numb - Linkin Park. |
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I miss MY LISAROO
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Monday, February 2nd, 2004
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I'm on a quest to make more friends! ANDALE!!!
Leave a message (or just a hug) if you will be my friend =) heh!
:: walks off ::
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Thursday, January 29th, 2004
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| Subject: | Yeah.. |
| Time: | 6:17 pm. |
| Mood: | depressed. | | Music: | please don't go - early 90's (dunno what band). |
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I know I haven't really written in a while. I don't write alot actually but ill be sure to atleast up date once or twice a week.
There were alotta strange things that happened yesterday. All of them happened to be not so great, but it doesnt matter! for all is well and the one person who matters to me still claims to love me! =P
Geeze... I think we're both really starting to feel empty inside.. without eachother.
Theres only so much a person can take before they go crazy inside. I think i'm starting to develop some form of mental disorder.. its much more serious then LADD..
...Febuary...March...April...May...June...July...August...1...2...3...4...5...6...7... 7 more monthes..
thats.. more then half a year away =(
[..yup...i pulled a count dracula there (sesame street moment)]
:: whispers :: only 7 more monthes..only 7 more monthes...only 7 more monthes...only 7 more monthes..
:: throws self on bed, slams head into pillow and passes out ::
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, January 24th, 2004
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:: sigh ::
Lately..
been down in the dumps my friends. (though there aren't to many friends that i have)I'm normally, a sane guy, maybe i could be described as caring, compassionate, you know, like such.. but theres one thing that i can't do. Which is explain how i feel, or talk about my feelings to anyone. Well..i can talk about them... but only to Lisa. I feel like i burden here with them sometimes.. and then sometimes i expect her to know what to say. In most cases she does. but certain cases..i dunno.. thers nothing TO say.. but she says what she can..
It suck though. not knowing what to do.. finding comfort in all the wrong places..I swore i wouldn't drink so its nothing like that.. just talking to some not so bright people and listening to some not so bright music.. I guess i can say what i do feel..
I feel empty. and like.. im being drained.. slowly... like everythings so lifeless.. im really starting to depend on happiness from others and.. i dunno..
Im afraid, since most of them don't know, they'll think im trying to use them.. which in a sesne i am.. but only to make myself smile.. Lisa makes me smile.. and im afraid soon enough i'll feel like shes my own and that no one can have her.. I'll be possesive of everything that makes me happy and want to keep it to myself...
Sucks being sad and vulnerable.. and i'd never want to hold Lisa back like that.. or go venture out trying to find someone to give me happiness..i.e. gideon...its just that easy to loose my will.. i'm really vulnerable right now.. i think im going to go sleep..
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
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I'd been MEANING to make an entry all week.. never really got the chance to. so here we go! my 3 - day weekend:
Friday night:
I don't really remeber much...
I know i talked to lisa and like passed out at around 5 the next morning.
Saurday:
Watched a bunch of Missy Elliot videos and thunk to myself Humm.. how does one get so creative? geeeze! Talked to alot of people that day =) netter said i betrayed her heh heh but unbetrayed her after that
Sunday:
My cousin was in town by this time and he was really getting on my NERVES! like people!!! you don't understand!! he's the most INCONSIDERATE fellow on the FACE of the EARTH! the COMPLETE contrast of the REST of my family. ARRRG! **steals netters knife to stab boy cousin (not Tabbs, my other cousin)**
Monday:
I stayed up all sunday night because of some incidents that occured and for whatever reason i couldnt sleep.
I did my homework and lived off chips and water for a span of 20 hours total. from sunday evening at 1 till around 9 monday evening and then my cousin left the next morning! YAY!
alright... that was fairly boring BUT its an update =) read it at you lesier if you want.. or don't! =) because you don't have to. pass the dutch.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, January 17th, 2004
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The last 2 days have been pretty upsidaisey.... for lack of a better term... Me love and I had some "roller coaster" moments.. and the g-force of it all was rather devastating, but we lived through it and basically went euphoric again..
Today, i've also been getting fairly sad... because i realize now i may be going deaf again..
when i was like 8 years old.. i was diagnosed with a small hearing problem.. that a few years of hearing aid could fix... I wore a hearing aid till i was like 12.. and that fixed alot..
Today i noticed my ears rang alot... and my sense of touch got alot stronger. Like i could litrally feel the vibration from touching my keys while typing... infact my fingers are kinda going numb.
alright im going to end this now then i geuss.. Take care folks
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, January 15th, 2004
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Ok! =) so today! i was walking home and i just got my cast of yesterday afternoon. And well i was walking home with my friend Kyle and Damien and i dont exactly remeber what i said but Damien started laughing and Kyle just kinda shoved me. Unfortunatly for me I was on the edge of a hill. I rolled like 10 feet basically hit every rock in the way and fell into this creek. Now...my Bum hurts. im in the process of getting it to feel better. On the other hand though! I got to talk to Lisa alot today! and that was the highlight of my day and all. Alright! im off. Bye folks
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
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Just thought i'd update this. I dont normally write in journals though i've once had a live journal on this sight. it was under the name "devinsbuddy" because me and dev used to be brothers almost and i dunno. he and i drifted. he goes to UC boulder now from what i know. I haven talked to him in almost a year. I haven't talked to jess either. She's his g/f from what i last remeber. they could still be together or heh maybe not anymore. I dunno though. they were both stron italian kids and they were totally in love. Maybe i'll stop by her livejournal sometime because i know she's still around.
Also! need to stop by nitters LJ because she's just that cool. alright....peace out home slices (said in british accent)
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Monday, January 12th, 2004
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Hey. So. Today, is my birthday. And. I am proud to say, that I am now as old as my girlfriend. haha.
-end transmission-
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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pathetic_excuse's journal